I haven't been this tired in some time.

Somehow an argument has sprouted between David & I versus an old friend of his. One I admire greatly, by the way, and I know he does too.

It's like being in kindergarten. All kinds of "unfriending" drama on Facebook and not answering phone calls. Frankly, it happening the same day that I found out about Jenny? EXHAUSTING. Can we not fucking talk like a grown up? Like people who are happy each other are ALIVE?? I don't want to deal with both at the same time.

No. Apparently not.

I hate fights. HATE. FIGHTS. When David & I have arguments I absolutely shut down. I just can't take that sort of anger. I don't think it's particularly healthy to shut down like that, but…. i just can't do it. I don't like to think people can be that vitriolic towards each other. I'm deeply disturbed by it.

Anyway. To my knowledge no one has ever been this mad at me. Part of me says FUCK IT, the other part is deeply upset.

It's times like this i miss my friends from Wellesley, Amsterdam, etc. If we were pissed back in those days, we'd just say "Hey. You really hurt my feelings then, " and then the other person would say "Well I don't think you should be hurt because blah". And then we'd figure it out and TAH-DAH! We'd be fine in the end.

Josh and Jeremy and I get into spats and we always come out the other side better.

I miss Annie and Nora and Grady and all those girls beyond any description. Johan Tom and I could always come out the other side of an argument better. I miss all of them so. hard.

So tired.