It is really hard for me to believe I am 36 years old. It just does not seem possible that it has been that long since Amsterdam, or college, or even high school, though high school has definitely started to fade into soft, fuzzy, angsty generalizations for me.

Recently I have been feeling older than I usually do; frustrated and annoyed with my body changes and its decrease in recovery rate – recovery of anything, from a too-late night, to a longer than normal run. I recover, of course, but not at the same rate I used to. I hate it.

That aside, my heart is energetic and youthful, and I would probably peg myself around 30 years old if I did not know me. Fortunately, genetics & water & faithful sunscreen usage & moisturizing has made the skin retain some youthful pallor, which I find has increased since I cut out the drinking the past couple weeks.

Of course, I wouldn't trade anything for the wisdom those extra six years has afforded me, so while I FEEL thirty, I would never be anything other than exactly what I am. 

That said, I am a pretty young 36 – easily distracted, ready to party, afraid of commitment, often tongue-tied and twisted, regularly beset by worries that people do not like me. Which I am much too old for. When do I grow out of that stuff?

How old do you think you would be? Younger? Older? Why?