It seems so obvious, doesn't it? Never trying implies living with regrets, or unfulfilled dreams. Failing is at least an attempt. So you should always TRY something, right?
There are some things with which I am not at peace with my fear of failing. Just because having my writing rebuffed terrifies me doesn't mean I shouldn't at least try for publication. Just because I am afraid of being rejected from graduate schools and certain jobs doesn't mean I shouldn't try. These are things that I'm working on and I can only hope I will move past some day.
However, aren't there some things that it's ok to never try? Or is it a fine line between never trying and not really desiring? Like, I'd really like to run a half marathon, but I know I'd fail at winning one. I mean, that would be cool, and I'd be really proud of myself, but also I don't really feel the need to try for that one.
I guess I think there are some situations where this is an appropriate question to ask oneself, and there are other situations where it is better to roll with whichever decision and outcome makes the most sense.
Maybe I'm over-thinking this. The point is, most likely, that trying is always ideal. But if you are like me, and internalize failure far more than you should, failure sounds like a really awful thing that should be avoided in order to be happy. I'd end up wondering why I spent so much time trying to win a damn half-marathon when I knew I'd fail anyway. I guess I just know my limits.
Anyone else feel this way?
In other news, I went to the Korean spa today and had about a pound of Ashbloem flesh scrubbed off of me. I feel like a new me.
March 17th, 2010 at 06:07
Maybe you’re a perfectionist http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_%28psychology%29? Most people don’t train for a marathon thinking they’re gonna win it, right? It’s more about testing the limits of your body and striving for a race time that is a success for you.
I have the opposite problem- I’m too lazy about my goals. I think of all these things I wanna do, but I get easily distracted or I’ll spend my days doing nothing more than reading a good book. I need to FOCUS dammit.
March 17th, 2010 at 06:17
why do you think i play golf?!
i say, fail spectacularly.
March 17th, 2010 at 07:41
FAIL SPECTACULARLY, she says. I like that.
March 17th, 2010 at 09:57
I understand a LOT of what you are saying. This article (and another similar, more recent one which I can’t find) helped me maybe understand how I got here–even if it doesn’t tell me how to get out!
http://nyti.ms/c70j1e
March 17th, 2010 at 09:59
Also! In re: failing spectacularly, I have this Samuel Becket quote on a post-it over my desk at work: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
If I had a magic wand, I would wave it in the direction of all my over-achieving, under-satisfied friends (and I myself am included in that group).
March 18th, 2010 at 20:38
i like FAIL SPECTACULARLY as well. I shall make it a mantra. In a way, it will become an achievement. A-HA!